P. Diddy Sells Dog Fur Jackets

Granted, Sean Combs probably had no idea that his made-in-China "high fashion" jackets were actually made of dog fur, not faux fur. But I liken this to the Kathy Lee Gifford sweat-shop story.

If you are going to put your name on something, which means you are authenticating it as a product you endorse...then you better damn well make sure that it's up to your standards. Do some background work, or better yet, pay your staff to do the background work. But apologizing later after a horrible discovery has been made just seems too little too late.

Barbara Walters is a Genius

By inviting Rosie O'Donnell to cohost on The View, Babs killed several birds with one stone: a) she got no-talent Starr Jones off the air; b) she improved ratings for The View tremendously; and c) she got people talking about The View--she created buzz for a show that was well past its prime.

The thing I like about Rosie, is that she offers a real opinion. She may put her foot in her mouth, and she may not always have a smart thing to say, but she's honest. This feud with Donald Trump is hilarious simply because Donald is trying to get ratings for his new Apprentice--a show that has also passed its prime. Remember when the last Apprentice came out? Donald attacked Martha Stewart. A month or two ago they release the news that he fired Carolyn. And now he's attacking Rosie.

If anyone is a "bully," it's the Donald. He's a dumbass bore with a bad sense of humor.

Kiefer Sutherland a Cowboy?

Who ever would have thought that hunky Kiefer (one my first crushes) is a bonafide cowboy? After that horrible 1994 Woody Harrelson (ugh) cowboy movie called The Cowboy Way, Kiefer got into roping. He actually won two national roping titles in 1998.

The Lost Room is Over...

....At least for now.

I'm hoping SciFi picks up the miniseries as a bonafide series sometime next year. From the completely unique and quirky plot to the great acting by Peter Krause and Juliana Margolis, it was a fantastic show. If you didn't catch all three 2-hour episodes this week, SciFi is replaying them in a marathon this Sunday. Don't miss out!

The Lost Room

The first 2-hour segment of SciFi's 6-hour miniseries The Lost Room premiered last night and I have to say I was floored. While it was a little slow to get going, the show is fascinating. Part of me wants to compare it to Twin Peaks because the show is so smart and ahead of its time. But whereas Twin Peaks was rife with humor, The Lost Room is awash in paranoia and loss.

It's a great show and I can't wait to see Peter Krause again tonight.

Ellen Rocks My World

When I saw a shorter version of this Ellen Degeneres commerical for Amex the other day, I nearly wet my pants. But the long version is even funnier.

Ellen is a genius.

Catch The Lost Room Tonight

SciFi is airing the first 2 hours of its new miniseries The Lost Room tonight. It starts Peter Krause of Six Feet Under (and Buffy) fame. It looks fantastic, and the network has been promoting the hell out of it.

Let's chat about it tomorrow.

Tyler and James win The Amazing Race...

And finally the boring season is over.

Was it me or were the laughs and fights and general drama too few and far between this season? I'm not sure when it begins again, but I hope it doesn't follow football or baseball or whatever. I barely watched because it never aired on schedule.

Battlestar News

Kristin at EOnline has posted a great chat with Ron Moore, the creator of SciFi's Battlestar Galactica--the best show on tv. Moore discusses everything from the other cylon models we haven't seen to the search for Earth.

But what alarmed me most is that there are only two more episodes before we take a Battlestar break until Spring 2007. Sad...

Project Runway and Tim Gunn

There seems to be an anxious buzz lately about the next season of Project Runway. When will it begin? Is it true that Tim Gunn may not be a part of the show.

Mark my words: Bravo will do whatever it takes to get Gunn back for the next season. Project Runway is the only true bonafide hit that Bravo has, and its buzz is off the charts. There is no way they are going to mess with a winning formula.

Remember how Kathy Griffin was having trouble getting a second (and third) season pickup for her My Life on the D-List? I think Bravo just likes to play hardball to see how much $ they can save. But the thing about Tim Gunn is that Bravo needs him more than he needs Bravo.

My Sleep Study

The term seems simple enough: sleep study. As I sleep, doctors will study me, right? But no, my friend. Though the term implies sleep, there was almost none of that to be had last night in Chevy Chase, Maryland as I was hooked up to 17 electrodes and one in the nose breathing tube.

Let's start at the beginning. I snore. Horribly. Forcibly. Sometimes waking myself up and making strange noises. A few friends, one of them a doctor, mentioned that I might have sleep apnea. So I began the ordeal a month ago when I visited an ENT. Dr. Schonfeld walked in and said, "Yep, you've got bad anatomy. Tiny nasal passages. I bet you snore."

So there I was last night at the sleep center where they would record me sleeping and measure my brainwaves, breathing, leg twitching. You name it, there was a wire hooked up to it. (Well, not every single thing). I'm in bed at 10:30. That's the most laughable thing because I haven't been to sleep before midnight in years. And I was hooked up to the aforementioned 17 electrodes: one on each leg, several in my hair, on my face, on my chest. A heart monitor on my finger. It was horrible. My nurse Jackie even put a breathing tube in my nose so she could measure my breathing.

Jackie leaves the room and I hear her in the dark like the voice of God, "Blink five times. Move your left ankle. Clear your throat." I fully expected Ashton Kutcher to walk in with a friend or two and say I'd been punked.

You can't imagine what it's like to sleep with wires all over your face and on your legs. I roll around when I'm trying to get to sleep and every time I turned or moved last night, I had to pull a bundle of wires and make sure the air tube hadn't come out of my nose. With all this discomfort, and the pressure of knowing I was being watched and recorded, it took at least an hour to get to sleep. Ususally it takes 10 minutes or so.

I woke up at 1:30 a.m. What I dreaded most had come true: I had to go to the bathroom.

I lean up in the dark and wave at the camera. "Jackie, I have to go to the bathroom," I say. Nothing. No voice of God. No light comes on. I fumble across the desk to try to turn the light on but instead send my cell phone flying across the room. I sit up in bed for about 10 minutes feeling like a child or an adult who can't take care of himself. Jackie finally walks in and unplugs me from the machines, but then I have to go in the bathroom carrying the box which has all 17 wires still plugged into it.

Nightmare.

So I get back in bed, and this time I bet it takes me another hour, maybe an hour and a half to get back to sleep. God, er, Jackie, wakes me up at 6:15 a.m. and rips all 17 electrodes off. The only saving grace is that I had a baseball cap to cover the globs of goo that were still in my hair.

Suffice it to say, should you ever need a sleep study, dread it. Avoid it. If you go, don't drink anything beforehand, and be sure to bring a baseball cap to wear home. I can imagine no worse fate than leaving sticky globs on the benches of the Metro as you ride home from Chevy Chase at 6 a.m.

NEWSFLASH: Congress to Work a 5-Day Week!

Can you believe this is even news--the fact that some members of Congress are mad that starting in January when the Dems take over, they will have to work a 5-day work week?

It shows how crazy our elected officials have gotten. Look at this quote by Republican Jack Kingston from Georgia: "Keeping us up here eats away at families. Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."

Hmm. Maybe what this says is that the Democrats are tired of people like Kingston flying home on Thursdays and returning to Washington on Tuesdays. Maybe the Democractic leadership wants Congress to actually have to work like the rest of us.

Back to the Rudeness Issue

Last week I made fun of President Bush (surprise) when he said to Senator-elect Jim Webb, "how's your boy?" and Webb told him that he thought we should be out of Iraq. Of course Bush answered, "That’s not what I asked you.”

Republicans on tv and in the media began talking about how rude Webb was, and I mentioned how Cheney can flick off all of Congress and yell "fuck you" and no one talks about him being rude.

Turns out, Webb's son had a "recent brush with death" a few weeks ago and Bush was warned to be sensitive about the issue. Yeah, right.

So imagine that you're Webb. Your son is in a war that has no purpose and has been handled poorly from the beginning, he nearly died a week or so ago, and your head-in-the-sand Commander in Chief shoots out a "how's your boy?" with a smile.

Rude? No. If anything Webb showed a great deal of restraint.

Heroes

The show is taking interesting turns, but I'm skeptical....

Glad glad glad that Eden bit the dust, but a little thrown off about a few things: a) how did Sylar use his powers like that? b) did Peter stay around the radiation guy a while? Is that why he's the one who blows up?

I guess Heroes is the kind of show you just enjoy, and don't really think too much about. I won't be sitting on the edge of my seat until January 22, but I will certainly be watching when it comes back on next year.

Eyecandy Not Gay in Real Life

Interesting story on TMZ today about Shawn Pyfrom. Evidently he was a presenter at a recent benefit for gay teens. But there was so much whistling and oogling and shouting as he introduced a musical performance by Lucy Lawless, that Shawn became "visibly uncomfortable."

I guess it goes to show that playing gay for pay is just that...playing gay. Even if you are a dreamboat. But kudos to him for going to the event in the first place.

Team Bama Sucks

No, I'm not talking sports--I'm referencing the The Amazing Race. I've barely been able to follow the show this season because Sunday night football means that the Race starts at a delayed time--which my TiVo doesn't like. So I was getting like the first 30-40 mins of each show and then would miss the ending. Not fun.

But, the Bama team (two single mothers from Alabama) are the first all-female team ever to make it to the final three and they couldn't be less deserving. They aren't great racers, they're petty, and they are mean as shit. The only reason they made it to the end was that the Cho brothers (who were nice but stupid) carried Bama the whole way.

So, I'm not rooting for Bama. And I'm not rooting for the pseudo-gay, drug addict, bedhead models. That means I'm left with Rob and Kimberly to root for which is a nightmare. Did you see Kimberly scream as people threw tomatoes at her in Barcelona?

To wrap up: Elke and I should have been on The Amazing Race this season. Anyone who knows us will concur that we would've won--big time. Yes, I know it's easy to say, but it's true. Elke would've done all the eating challenges in record speed. I would've done all the competitive running around challenges. And Elke's amazing sense of direction would have been our ace in the hole. Plus, we may have fought or bickered, but we would have had tons of fun and looked good doing it. Alas...

The Train Wreck that is Lindsay Lohan...

Lindsay Lohan's mother and publicist are on a mission: to let the world know that Lindsay is working on her drinking. She's even been attending AA meetings.

It's a "positive step" blah blah. And "give her time" blah blah. But the funniest thing of all was actually said by Lohan's own publicist, Leslie Sloane.

Talking of Lohan and the AA process Sloane says, "and, by the way, she's not saying ... she'll stop drinking tomorrow." Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.

First Awful Battlestar

Well, statistically speaking, it had to happen. Battlestar Galatica had a shitty episode.

I wondered from the previews how boxing (???) and Battlestar were going to mesh. What I discovered is that they didn't mesh. The whole back and forth structure (a la Lost) just didn't work for the show. That's sad too because it was a great dramatic revelation that Starbuck and Apollo are in love, but Starbuck went ahead and got married out of fear. A revelation that was wasted in a terrible episode of such a great show.

DeVito as the Penguin

I didn't see a drunk Danny DeVito on The View this week, and I'm a little sad about it. But maybe I can go rent the Batman movie where he plays the Penguin. I bet it's just the same.

Tears, We're Talking Tears, Folks

Grey's Anatomy made me cry last night. Granted, I had a shitty day overall--work, money, love--but the episode was just so good.

I know that Grey's is melodramatic. And I know that half the stuff on the show would never happen in a real hospital. But last night's closing dialogue about closeness and how each of us needs it was heartwrenching. To me it wasn't schmaltzy or contrived--it felt emotionally earned. Of course the closing shot was of Meredith clinging to her mother who has Alzheimers, the camera moving in closer and closer to her face where you can see she's starting to cry.

Smallville Reminder...

You can't forget to watch Smallville tonight on the CW. It looks to be the cheesiest most nutball episode of the season. Clark discovers his newest power..... wait for it...wait for it...super breath!

The episode is called "Sneeze." And no, I'm not kidding. Smallville is the definition of guilty pleasure.

God Bless Nora Ephron and Jim Webb...

I read this blog on Huffingtonpost and had to link to it. Nora gets it right about newly-elected Virginia Senator Jim Webb--finally someone in Washington has the balls to call frat-boy Bush on his shit. I love it.

When I hear that Jim Webb showed bad manners, I ask what people thought about our Vice President flicking someone off then yelling "fuck yourself" on the floor of the Senate. Now that's manners.

How Did I Forget to Mention Veronica?

I was crazy busy yesterday and just failed to mention my thoughts on Tuesday night's fall finale of Veronica Mars.

As I mentioned, I'm a big fan of the heroine running in slow motion to angsty music while her hair flies behind her. (Well, I guess I mean Buffy mostly). And it was cool that the episode started at the height of action (that's en media res for you literary types), then went back and showed us how we got there.

But I don't know. I was a bit--just a bit--disappointed. I think I expected something more shocking. And as fun as it was to watch Veronica attack someone with a unicorn....eh.

(Oh, the slutty Kristen Bell (Veronica) pic is for any straight male readers I may have). I need to stay fair and balanced.

Shame on Bones

I've gotten really hooked on Fox's show Bones because it's really well written and has great chemistry between the main leads. But last night's "ripped from the headlines" story was just sad. It was a complete rehash of The Blair Witch Project and it just stank to high heaven. I'm hoping this was just one small misstep for the series and not a turn in the wrong direction.

Trump - Carolyn = Grating

NBC has announced that its moving The Apprentice to Sunday nights when it begins this January. I've always found Donald Trump especially repulsive, but at least his stupidity was tempered in part by Carolyn and her mean smiles and icy cold stare.

But with Carolyn gone, since Trump "fired her" last year, I'm not sure I'll stick around for this version of the show. We'll see...

Real World Hits an All-Time Low

The Real World may be in the mile-high city, but it seems to be sinking lower and lower, and faster than ever. The funny, drunk hi-jinx of seven strangers picked to live in a house has become a sleazy, lushy, slutty parody of itself.

Whereas we used to get fairly interesting, smart, and half-real kids with pretentious names like Elka, Amaya, Puck, Ruthie, Cyrus, now we get grade-A dumbasses that can barely do anything sober and have trouble formulating even a simple sentence. It's not just the kids that get more extreme--MTV has tried to outdo itself each year with the house, the job, and the trips the cast takes.

Viewers have noticed the change. Real World numbers are waaaaay down. I hope the producers learn their lesson. They forged what we call reality tv with a little show called The Real World nearly 15 years ago. It's sad they've embraced airheads and drunks for contrived drama, when watching real young adults live together would be so much more interesting. It used to be kind of a guilty pleasure to watch Real World--now it's nearly excruciating.

Tomorrow I'll talk about the Denver cast...

Poor Luke

A coworker of mine has been super sad and super mad at the 180 degree story turn the Gilmore Girls has taken this year. With Lorelai pursuing a romance (and now married) to her old flame Christopher, it hasn't looked good for a return to the loving days of Luke and Lorelai.

For 3-4 episodes, Luke was barely in the picture. 2 minutes with his daughter in this show segment. Another minute or 2 in the diner with customers. But if anyone was really worried that Luke was going the way of the doodoo, last night proved Luke is around to stay. Have you noticed we're seeing more and more of Luke each episode--he even had a fairly long scene with Lorelai weeks ago. And it looks like he will be battling for rights over his newfound daughter, or at least having more smackdowns with the mother.

So as Luke tv time increases, we also see that no one in Lorelai's life seems to be warming up to her marriage with Chris. But I, for one, love that the couple ended up together after having a daughter 20 years earlier--it's romantic. And I get all tingly when sexy Chris is on screen. But as great as I think Chris is, it's clear the writers are now penning him into a corner--he's immature, he's bratty, he throws his money around. I think the writers aren't developing him fully on purpose, because we all know Lorelai will end up with Luke. Sad, but true.

Hot Hot Hottie

In all, I may have watched 84 minutes total of ABC's series The Bachelor. That's less than an hour and a half, and we're talking a cumulative total of viewing minutes for all 9 Bachelor shows so far.

But ABC has just gotten their new bachelor for season 10, and he is hottie mchot. Andy Baldwin is a a 30-year-old Navy “undersea medical officer for a special operations dive unit stationed in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.” He went to Duke, was a triathlete, a swimmer, and has competed in the Ironman a number of times. He is a gay man's wet dream. Check him out.

D-List Love!

Rock the fuck on! I'm just tickled pink that Bravo has renewed Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List for a third season! Sure it's only 6 more episodes, but you can TiVo back and forth to make Kathy dance or say funny things over and over.

I heart her. And I heart her rat costume video.

ABBA Museum

Who wants to go to Sweden with me in 2008?

Golden Globes Already

Believe it or not, Golden Globe nominations are almost upon us--December 14th! The only thing I'm sure of is that The Queen and Helen Mirren will be up. Also...buzz is big that Dreamgirls is the picture to beat this year. It's gotten fantastic reviews.

Rob Lowe to Stay on Brothers and Sisters?

Michael Auseillo at TVGuide is reporting that producers of Brothers and Sisters are in talks with Rob Lowe for him to join the show for good. It's fantastic news for a few reasons. 1) Lowe is good and 2) It's a show of faith for the ABC drama.

On Sylar and Studio 60

Heroes was great again last night. And it even seemed like they brought in some better writers to give the actors real things to say. I was impressed.

How freakass creepy is Sylar, that he can look into the people and see what's "wrong" with them--hence his need to take their brain (and their talents). Bizarre. You go, Tori Spelling's best friend.

And Studio 60 was funny, but they still need to dig deeper into the characters. Um, who do you think got Jordan pregnant?

Taylor Hicks is a Thankless Hack

Read this article about Taylor Hics on realityblurred.com. The thankless fucker is already talking about how he doesn't watch American Idol and hated the songs they made him sing. Now that he's a "big" "star" (yeah, right), he wants to put distance between himself and the show. Kelly Clarkson is the only real idol that the show has ever produced.

Kramer is "Shattered"

Yeah, right. "Shattered" that he got caught be racist. Too little, too late, my friend.

Emory University and Revenge of the Nerds Remake?

I just read this article about the Revenge of the Nerds remake at Emory University. I wish my Atlanta friends had let me know what was going on at my alma mater.

A) I'm not surprised that Fox was planning a remake. It's the kind of film you could easily update. B) I'm not surprised Emory University agreed to let the movie shoot up to 1/3 of the film on campus--Emory loves/wants/craves (not needs) money. C) I am surprised that no one at Emory looked at the script before they agreed. Evidently the movie was too raunchy and Emory pulled the plug on filming.

Evidently the movie moved to Agnes Scott, also in Atlanta, but now that's not working so the project is in limbo. Shout out to my administration peeps at Emory for keeping an eye on things, but I'm sure the name of the college would have been changed. What's the deelio? Why not take the money and run?

Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars

I can't can't can't wait to see Veronica Mars next week. I love the show, but I'm completely lost about this "catch the rapist" storyline. She intimates there is no rapist, but we know there's been at least one rape. Anyway...next week has a death, has all sorts of slow motion running with grief (a la Buffy). I'm there.

Gilmore Girls was great last night too. Perfect, "I'm such a good writer" Rory had to own up to being mean. What, Rory be mean? Well, she's always condescending. But I'm interested to see how this Christopher/Lorelai thing works out. I love Chris (see hottie pic), so I hope they don't make him do something entirely out of character and jackass-like. Oh, and did anyone notice that the scene they showed in the previews--with Luke and Christopher about to fight--wasn't in last night's show. The CW is tricky!

Tom Serenades Katie

Blech! Check out this People article that talks about how Tom sang "You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling" to Katie during his wedding reception. It makes me want to puke.

But of course it is kind of funny that even Tom knows on some level that his best, brightest, and most popular acting days are behind him--he had to resort to cannibalizing his own career just to get a laugh and a tear at his own wedding. Again, blech!

ps--This pic looks like an ugly homecoming pic from high school. She's like a foot taller than him and he's combed his hair like he's 15.

Rosie, Clay, Kelly

Stories like this are why I love the internet. All I had to google was "Rosie Ripa" and this tv bitchfest came up.

For those who haven't heard, Clay Aiken co-hosted with Kelly Ripa last week on Live with Regis and Kelly. During one part of the show, Clay put his hand over Kelly's mouth so he could say something and Kelly pulled his hand away and said, "Oh, that's a no-no. I don't know where that hand's been, honey."

Enter Rosie, who has been really stirring some coals on The View lately. She said Ripa's remark was homophobic (which it was, mildly). But the real trouble started when Kelly called The View today to bitch at Rosie. If you watch the clip, look at Rosie's face. It's priceless.

I didn't see either of these shows live, so I don't want to make a real judgement. But honestly, it's not even worth talking about. It is worth laughing about though.

Robert Altman Has Died...

And I'm terribly sad. It's actually a sad day for cinema.

Nashville and M*A*S*H are two of the best American films in the last 50 years. It's sad to think we have lost someone with such a wonderful knack at narrative and such an original style.

Kramer = Racist

So what's going on with crazy racist celebrity rants? I'm sure you've all seen or heard the story by now where Michael Richards (Kramer from Seinfeld) went balistic last week at a comedy club in LA. He was being heckled and people were talking over him so he launched into a barrage of the "n" word at some black audience members. And he kept it up.

The only thing worse might have been the crazy-ass apology on David Letterman last night. It was surreal. As he apologized via satellite (talking to Dave and to Jerry Seinfeld), the audience didn't know what to make of it. They laughed. Out loud. To where Richards could hear them. It was nuts.

But despite his apology, it goes to show a few things we already knew: a) racism permeates Hollywood; and b) Michael Richards is crazy.

Crazier than Richards' rant (or Mel Gibson's for that matter) is the fact that these stars seem to think that an apology is a cure all. And that they actually have the balls to claim that they aren't racist and they don't know where the words came from.

Heroes

Sure, it was a good episode last night, but kind of a let down. I liked the fact that Peter "died" and that it took Claire to save him. But did we really find out the meaning to "Save the Cheerleader - Save the World" as NBC promised? Um, short answer...no.

So it was kind of shitty for NBC to blatantly LIE to us, but am I surprised? Um, short answer...no. But I'll keep watching because it's a good show, and because it's hilrious that Tori Spellings "best friend" on her VH-1 show is the killer Sylar on Heroes.

OJ

I don't want to spend much time on this subject because really does he need any more press? We all know what he is starts with "m" and ends in "urderer."

So...glad to hear that his book is being pulled and so is the Fox special. But I'm sure we'll end up seeing both in the media someway, somehow. Sad.

George Clooney the Sexiest Man Alive...

...says People magazine. I won't argue either.

I also think he's one of the smartest Hollywood people around. I heard him talk about years ago when his career was taking off he did enough. He did the Batman movies and The Perfect Storm so he could make enough money that he'd never have to do a project he didn't love. That takes cajones and smarts.

Killing Jack off Lost?

That's the rumor. And I'll tell you, if they do. I'm done. That's it.

My brother keeps telling me he things Sawyer is going to meet his maker really soon which upsets me too. But it wouldn't keep me from watching the show. But if you kill Locke, or Kate, or Jack, I'm gone.

Have Any of You Watched Bones?

I tend not to really fall for shows on Fox because they have the whole weird "we're gonna stop showing our new shows for the whole month of October and show you baseball instead" thing. But last year I did get interested in Bones, the procedural about a group of scientists who work with skeletal remains at the Smithsonian (oops, the Jeffersonian) in Washington, D.C. to help the F.B.I. with its cases.

But the show has gotten more and more intruiging lately, mostly due to the chemistry between Dr. Brennan (Bones) and Agent Booth--Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz sizzle on screen together. In last night's show Bones and a coworker had been buried alive (yes, I know, Kill Bill 2 and CSI both did it), and when Booth finally pulled Bones out of the dirt I cried! I was at the gym on the damn eliptical machine crying (almost sobbing even).

So check Bones out on Wednesday nights. It's quirky, funny, thrilling, and even heartwarming.

Emmitt Wins!

I'll admit I was surprised that Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke won Dancing with the Stars. I haven't been following the show religiously, but the few times I watched Mario Lopez shake his ass and throw those muscled arms into the air, I knew there was a God.

So, I can't (and won't) claim Mario was cheated--like when Kelly Monoco originally won over John O'Hurley. But I will say that I will miss seeing Mario jiggle, and stride, and thrust his way across the stage.

Missing Lost

Okay, I'll admit it: despite the ups and downs of this season's Lost, I'm going to really miss the show until it returns in early 2007. Just today I was like, "Oh, it's Wednesday. Lost is coming on." Then the realization that I have months to wait.

But on another note, at least I get some Cameron goodness on the season finale of Laguna Beach tonight. It promises to be an extra-special hour episode of inane and awkward conversations.

Tour de France Scandal

I don't know enough about the Tour de France and what happened with Floyd Landis' positive testing for drugs to make an argument for or against his win. But I do think it's a sad state of affairs. Landis continues to claim that there has been a mistake and he wasn't doping, and now it turns out that the French lab that conducted both tests made an error. Lab officials say the error has no bearing on Landis' positive test and that he's still guilty of doping. But it sounds awfully fishy to me.

3 lbs Not Worth its Weight

I watched the new show 3 lbs about brain surgeons last night. Yes, how very esoteric that 3 lbs is actually the weight of the brain and those smarty pants producers actually knew that! Ugh.

Well, the show isn't all that good, which is sad because Stanley Tucci is usually great and Indira Varma rocked it hard on HBO's Rome. And we can't forget the smoking hot Mark Feuerstein (see pic). But alas, the show was high on concept and low on character development and plot. Maybe it'll get better. I'll watch a few more eps to make up my mind (and to see Mark).

Christopher and Lorelai and Luke

I'm not one of those people who are sad that Christopher and Lorelai are together now on Gilmore Girls. A) Christopher is cuter. B) It's just a nice back story that after years apart, and a child, they are finally married.

But if you don't like Christopher, you might as well rejoice. I have more than a hunch that Lorelai will be with Luke before the end of the season, even though she eloped with Christopher. Did you see her face last night when she said how happy she was? Looks like they'll get a quickie divorce or an anullment. Seems a lot of people, including Ausiello at TV Guide agree.

Stand in Defiance of Tom Cruise

A tad bit dramatic maybe, but please please please all of you promise to do one thing for me this weekend. At any point on Saturday or Sunday, I urge you to stand on your sofa, jump up and down, and plead for the Scientology gods to let poor Katie Holmes be free of Tom Cruise.

Maybe if we do that, the Scientology aliens will release their spirits into the air and free Katie from her hypnotic stupor before her wedding to the nutty, queer, lost-his-mind Cruise.

The Ruins is a Creepy Book

I'm about halfway through The Ruins by Scott Smith and I'm really loving it. I can't argue that it's literary fiction in any way, but it is well written with rounded out characters and a great sense of forboding. The setting alone is sensational.

Smith wrote A Simple Plan years ago. I never read it, and the movie wasn't my cup of tea. But The Ruins is great for anyone who likes thrillers. And as mentioned...it's CREEPY! It's alos a page-turner: I read more than 100 pages in one sitting last night.

It came out earlier this year and won't be in paperback until next spring, but if you can check it out at the library or borrow a friend's copy, you should think about it.

Monday Night TV Catch Up

Prison Break isn't a bad show. It's got hotties galore, good plots, fast pacing--but I'm not sure how high the stakes really are in the plots and that's a problem. Sure, they kill people off left and right on Prison Break. But the only characters any of us really care about are Scofield and Sarah, and we know that they won't be killed. So I watch the show every week, but I don't find it as satisfying as I did the first season.

Heroes was great again last night. Tiny little clues scattered everywhere. We meet this great new character--a waitress who can suddenly remember everything she reads or hears--and then she gets killed. Only, Hiro went back in time and there was a sense that he was able to save her. And right now it's looking like the only baddie on the show is Sylar, since HRG (horn rimmed glasses) gets more understood each episode. Of course next week is when "save the cheerleader, save the world" comes to a head! I can't wait.

Oh, and Studio 60. My dear Studio 60. It's a good show--no denying that. High quality, good acting, and the like. But again, there is some kind of spark missing. With Sorkin's The West Wing there was inherent gravitas because the weekly battles and decisions were political and we were made to see how each tiny decision can (or might not) affect America. But with Studio 60, I feel like we're just watching people who are really talented and like their jobs do their jobs. There isn't a larger resonance for me. Maybe if they dug deeper with the characters I would care more. But at least we get to see--NBC ordered a full season despite the show's pathetic ratings. So if you used to watch The West Wing, then you should probably tune in to Studio 60.

The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia

I can't believe I forgot to mention how great it was to see Dixie Carter back on tv. She was great last night on Desperate Housewives as Bree's new mother-in-law. She looked fantastic and was as firecracker hot as always.

Oh...and let's just remember how fierce Carter can be. Turn your volume up a bit for this clip.

Personal Life

Most everybody that reads this stuff knows me pretty well. It's not like I have legions of fans who have never met me--though I wish I did. :)

But I want to say the past three or four months have sort of flown by. I started dating someone this summer. Then my stepfater Tom was sick and then died in Savannah. My job took me to three different conferences in a row across the United States, 1, 2, 3. I closed on a new condo and moved in and bought furniture. It just seems like it has been nonstop.

But everything has worked out really well and I'm trying to remember to stop and enjoy life a tad bit more, as cliche as it sounds. Randall and I went to the Shenandoah mountains Sunday a week ago. Though we had missed the peak of the leaves changing, we still saw some great colors and it was cool and beautiful outside. It really made me think about how lucky I am to live where I do. And my mom was here this weekend really helping me fine tune my new studio. We bickered and got testy, but it was fun.

So despite the real dramas and the hard times and the craziness, be thankful about all the good things that add up in your life. For me it's a lot: a great new book I've just started, a visit (and subsequent shopping trips) with my mother, a trip to the mountains with a fantastic boyfriend, two cutie kitties that are fun to come home to every day, upcoming visits by two friends and a stepmother, tons of great friends, and a soon-to-be-arriving niece this March. Life isn't all that bad when you think about it.

Oh...and um, forgot all about the election! :)

Battlestar and Brothers and Sisters Catch Up

Battlestar Galactic rocked it again this weekend. If you had told me a few years ago that a new Battelstar would be one of my favorite shows on tv, and not in a cheesy indulgent way, I'd have thought you were nuts. But the show continues to be political and relevant--especially when our own country is at war.

And as much as I was afraid Brothers and Sisters was going to turn into a schmaltzy, teary, hug-fest, it hasn't. You really have to hand it to Greg Berlanti (of Everwood fame). He has takent a show which had all the earmarks for sacchrine melodrama and has helped it become probably my favorite show to watch right now. Not best, mind you, but favorite.

There are so many reasons to like Brothers and Sisters. A) It has a gay character who actually has a love life. And his being gay isn't his only defining character trait. B) It has the best cast on tv right now--bar none. Calista Flockhart, Rachel Griffiths, Ron Rifkin, Treat Williams, Patricia Wetting, and Sally Field (who hardly ever cries anymore on the show, unlike every appearance she's ever made on ER). C) It's well written, suprising, and heartfelt. This last episode is the first drama on tv which I've seen that used September 11th in an integral way to the show. It wasn't forced or contrived, though certainly emblematic. This show deserves heaps of praise and I can only see it getting better.

What a Difference Two Years Makes

I want to start by saying, wouldn't you have liked to hear Rove explain to Bush that the Whitehouse was sinking? Or maybe hear Bush congratulate Nancy Pelosi?

I didn't want to repeat 2004 and get all excited prematurely, then get depressed when I realized that most of America was either a) sleepwalking through any sort of political life or b) just didn't care. So last night was low key for me. I ordered a pizza and just hunkered down alone to watch the election returns (and Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars).

By 9:30 CNN was projecting the Democrats would eek out House control, but the numbers coming in looked nothing like the tidal wave I hoped for. It was a bit depressing, but I was happy that that the tide was turning--if just gradually. Then as the night wore on, more and more races started tilting Democratic. James Carville (who is crazy, I know, I know) mentioned that a lot of the earlier returns were from the South which is the only place Democrats didn't expect to do well.

I went to bed at midnight thinking, "well, at least we won the House and gained a few Senate seats." You can imagine how surprised I was to wake up and realize that the Senate was still in play. And I'm sure hoping we take it too.

I'm glad that America is finally starting to wake up to the real Bush. And I'm jubilant that Bush's finger pointing, mean spiritedness, and tyranny are finally going to be put in check. So thanks, America. I just hope in the future we can work on putting the kabosh on the anti-gay ballot initiatives.

Britney News

No...not her appearance on David Letterman, or her new album. Britney is...wait for it...divorcing K Fed. Who ever could have guessed it would happen?

By the Way...VOTE!

I don't want to jinx anything, but let's hope we wake up tomorrow in a better, saner, world--albeit one still too embroiled in politics.

But however you identify politically, whichever candidates float your boat, be sure to vote today!

Heroes Gets Better and Better

They really know what they're doing at NBC. Well, sometimes...

Heroes just gets better each week. Tighter writer, spookier mysteries. I'm loving it. But it's sad the follow-up show, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is pretty much tanking. Sure, the show is basically The West Wing but set in tv instead of politics. Sure, it's self-important. But it's damn funny. My guess is we won't see a single Studio episode in 2007.

Faith Hill Shows it Like it Is

Coworker Caroline sent this link to me today, showing Carrie Underwood winning big a big Country Music Award. I don't give a rat's ass about country music, but watch Faith Hill's face when she hear's Carrie's name called. It's priceless.

***UPDATE***
Now Faith is saying it was a joke. Riiiiiight.....

Desperate Sundays

Okay, so Desperate Housewives was a bit better last night, but it felt much more like a "very special episode" than an attempt to get the show back on track. Hey, but at least Nora got killed. Because (aside from Susan's awkward daughter) Nora was the worst story and worst actress on the show. Completely grating.

Brothers and Sisters just keeps getting better and better. I'm loving it actually. Compare last night's funny, heart-felt (and just a bit too much contrived) episode with the first episode of the season and you'd think it was a completely different show. As long as showrunner Greg Berlanti can ditch the melodrama and focus on simple interactions between the main characters, I can see the show doing really really well. It's no Thirtysomething but it'll do.

Gay Doogie

Somehow I missed this last week, but you probably all heard it anyway: Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Howser and How I Met Your Mother fame came out last week. Just out of the blue.

With T.J. Knight the week before, and now Doogie, maybe we'll get another star coming out this week. That'd be nice, huh?

Copying Beethoven

Last night I saw a preview of what I'm sure Ed Harris thinks is the movie that will nab him an Oscar. Um, no.

It was a beautifully shot film with an interesting story about Beethoven late in his career when he is already deaf and relying on a copyist to help him write and conduct. But the writing wasn't up to snuff--it went from fairly on the mark to scenes from a bad sit com or ABC Family drama. I actually liked the copyist actress--Diane Kruger. You might know her from National Treasure and believe it or not she has acting chops. Randall said she seemed like a younger, straighter Jodie Foster with a dash of Kate Winslet. I can buy that.

But what I can't buy is truly recommending this movie to anyone. I'm glad I saw it, and it was free, but I wouldn't give it more than 5 or 6 out of 10.

Lost Letdown

While Lost is still better than 95% of what's on television, I have to say that this season is really disappointing so far. Last night's show was no exception.

Lately we've been learning some stuff: that the Others are on another island, that the polar bear had escaped from a cage the Others had, that the Others live with technology. But do you see a theme? We've learned a lot about the creepy Others, and been introduced to mysterious Juliet, but the hardcore fans of the show want two things: to know what's happenning to the original Losties and to solve some of the island's mysteries.

But this year there has been so much investment in the Others, and so much time watching Jack and Sawyer and Kate being held captive that the show just isn't fun like it used to be. We've gotten precious little Hurley or Sayid or Locke for that matter. And mysteries haven't been revealed either. Was it just me or did the black smoke look like that red valentine heart monster from that old bugs bunny cartoon.

Anyway...I hope the showrunners can pull it together, but with Lost losing so much of its ratings, I fear that it may have already become Alias--a great show that couldn't keep up with its original conceit.

Death on Lost

I'm finally back from travelling for work. No more of it for the rest of the year so blogging will be more frequent.

News is that a series regular will die on this week's Lost! My bet is Ecko. What do y'all think?

Set Your TiVO for Madonna!

If you haven't already heard...Madonna will be on Oprah this Wednesday to talk about her new adoption and all related drama. It should be worth a peek.

The Foxes of Fall TV

With the studs of summer a thing of the distant past, at least we have the handsome (and sometimes talented) foxes of fall to look forward to. Here's my (incomplete) listing of where you can find some great male eye candy on the tube this fall:

• ABC has a bevy of cuties: Dave Annable and Matthew Rhys who play brothers Justin and Kevin on Brothers and Sisters. Rhys gets extra points for playing gay. Owain Yeoman plays the baddie Lucas Dalton on The Nine and Jay Hernandez is the hunky public defender Carlos on Six Degrees. Don't leave out Shawn Pyfrom who stars as the cutie gay troublemaker Andrew on Desperate Housewives. And we can't forget the adorable dancer with the huge-ass arms on Dancing with the Stars--Mario Lopez.
• NBC has at least two hotties: Adrian Pasdar Congressman wanna-be on Heroes and security man Josh Duhamel on Las Vegas.
• Could CBS have any more procedurals? Isn't every show a whodunnit in the crime lab? But at least we get to see George Eads from the original CSI as Nick Stokes. And there's Michael Weatherly and Sean Murray on NCIS.
• SciFi has Battlestar Galactica goodness including: Jamie Bamber (Apollo), Tahmoh Penikett (Helo), and Aaron Douglas (Chief).
• The CW has hottie Jason Dohring as bad boy Logan on Veronica Mars. But there may not be anyone who beats Justin Hartley (ex-Passions lover) as Green Arrow on Smallville.

The Prestige

Last night some coworkers and I caught a sneak preview of The Prestige--Christopher Nolan's new film with Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson, and Christian Bale. While the movie was good, it wasn't great. A) The narrative was unneccesarily confusing. Nolan's directorial style tends to trip up itself, like in Memento which felt way too contrived. B) Scarlett is becoming a worse and worse actress--at least when it comes to period pieces. And the most damning let-down? C) No shirtless scenes with humpy Christian Bale.

Another Reason to Watch Grey's Anatomy

T.R. Knight (who plays the shy shy George) on Grey's Anatomy just released a statement to People magazine saying he's gay. Knight says, "I guess there have been a few questions about my sexuality, and I'd like to quiet any unnecessary rumors that may be out there. While I prefer to keep my personal life private, I hope the fact that I'm gay isn't the most interesting part of me." Wow...cahones, my friends, cahones.

So...this might explain the big fight on the Grey's set a week or so ago when Isiah Washington got into an argument with Knight and then let loose a tirade of ugly words (you can only imagine) and pushed him. The fight got even jucier when a Patrick Dempsey (Dr. McDreamy) stood up for Knight and got right back in Washington's face.

Rock on Dr. McDreamy. There is no room in Hollywood, in America, in the world for homophobes.

Project Runway Fallout?

I wish... Actually just a good article from Salon.com about the finale of the show. They wanted Uli to win but weren't all that unhappy about Jeffrey winning on his "talent." While I disagree with that, I do agree with most of the article and the main point: how did Jeffrey win if he was over budget and his clothes were ugly?

DISGUSTED

Not that I'm going to spend more than 5 minutes thinking about it after tonight, but I'm pissed that Jeffey won Project Runway. His stuff is ugly. He was terrible to all the contestants--just rude. And I think Uli makes prettier, more flattering, and wearable clothes. Alas...

More Gap Love

The Gap brings us Chris Evans looking just as smoldering as Jeremy Piven. Grrr...

Project Runway Finale Tonight

I used to be betting on Uli, but now I think that Laura might pull a win out of her ass. I admit everything she does is impeccable. It's just that her stuff isn't all that imaginative. There is also speculation that Jeffrey gets kicked off the show, even though his collection still appears at the Bryant Park shows. It sure looks like it to me.

Also, there is a stink about the Project Runway models. Evidently they don't get paid and it's causing a bit of an uproar from fans and the like. I get that it's a contest for them too, but really a shot in a mag isn't like a check for $100,000 like the winning designer gets. I think after the show became a hit, (somewhere in the middle of the 2nd season), Bravo should have started giving the models some kind of honorarium. It's not like they live for free in a nice NYC apt building like the designers. Maybe the model interviewed for the story is exaggerating, but if not, that's too bad for Bravo.

Angelina Jolie as Atlas Shrugged Heroine?

Ugh. It nearly makes me sick to my stomach to think of it: Angelina dragging her big-ass lips around the screen as Ayn Rand's classic heroine Dagny Taggart. I don't think she's the worst actress ever, but she sure hasn't done anything of note in years. I'm sad sad sad about it. Maybe she'll pull through and it'll be okay.

But wouldn't Rachel Griffiths have been great? Or Cate Blanchett?

Jake Gyllenhaal and Me...

...Kind of. See those Americans for the Arts banners behind Jake, Lance Armstrong and Robert Downey, Jr. in this pic? Well I designed them with coworkers Heather and Liz. Sadly I was not in New York for the event to add yet another sexy star to the number I have met with, drank with, or eaten with. Alas...

A Few TV Notes

I wish I could tell you how much I liked Heroes and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip last night but you see, my Comcast Cable went out for the THIRD TIME IN A WEEK last night. It was out from 9:20 to midnight. So yeah, $33 cable sure is a bargain! Thanks Comcast!

But...Heroes repeats on Friday and I do know a few new tv tidbits:
1) Brothers and Sisters got picked up for a full year run yesterday. This is a good thing because with the stellar cast and the great new writer and showrunner (Greg Berlanti of Everwood fame), the show can only get better.
2) Kristin on E! online is launching a Save Our Show campaign. This campaign helped save Veronica Mars last year, so it can work and it certainly holds a special place in my heart. All you have to do is visit her site and pick the show you want to be saved. Right now the ratings for Studio 60 and for The Nine and Six Degrees aren't so good. And these shows are quality.
3) This Thursday Justin Hartley (picture to follow tommorow or Thurs) stars on Smallville as the superhero Green Arrow. Justin is scrumptious.
4) Speaking of tv hotties: this week I'll be posting my Foxy Fellas of Fall TV column. You shouldn't miss it.

I Heart the Gap

You have to love The Gap for getting this picture of Jeremy Piven.

Support Madonna!

I really haven't weighed in on the whole Madonna-adopts-a-new-African-baby-thing until now because honestly I didn't think it was that big a deal. But after reading all the horrible things people are saying about my Madge, I'm getting a bit pissed off.

• Sure Madonna does a lot of stuff for publicity, but adopting a baby? I don't think you can pin that on her as a savvy PR move. She had to have known there would be a backlash against her adoption because she's Madonna. She doesn't have to copy Angelina Jolie to get good press--she's fine with her own ideas thank you. And just what would she be promoting? She has no new book or album.
• I think Madonna has grown up--you can see it in interviews, in how she talks about her children and her spirituality. And isn't it just too super easy to bash her for her wrecklessness or ruthlessness early in her career? And despite her past, she did get where she is now by willpower and a real dedication to what she does. You can't overlook that.
• Rocco and Lola seem like great kids. Everything we've seen so far shows that she's a devoted mother and fierce protector of her children.
• As for the background of her Malawian child--you have to know that Madonna wanted to adopt a child whose life she could better. Even switching to a new culture, clearly "David" is better off with a mother who loves him and will grow with him than in an orphanage.
• The last point is that anyone who knows a smidge about Madonna, knows how profoundly the loss of her own mother affected her life and growth. Can we maybe give her the benefit of the doubt by suggesting that she is trying to help another child who lost his mother early?

Bush's Faith-based Lie Revealed on 60 Minutes

Did you catch David Kuo on 60 Minutes last night? It was astounding. David was in the office of Faith-based Initiatives for President Bush for a number of years and just wrote a book about how completely insincere and disapproving the Bush White House really is about the religious right.

Granted, Kuo is trying to sell a book, and yes, I am happy for any unpleasantries that come Bush's way, but what Kuo said was pretty damning. Evidently the Bush White House holds great disdain for the leaders of the religious right and barely tolerates them just to win election. Kuo mentioned some leaders by name and said that top White House officials called them "nuts," "whackos," and "crazies."

The two most daming parts of the piece came when Kuo argued that Bush only spent roughly $16 million on supporting poor Americans when he promised to spend $8 billion. And the said that the Republicans and the Bush White House used the Faith-based Initiatives program to help campaign for Republican candidates in tight races. Yep, that's our tax money that was funneled through churches to help elect Republicans.

WWJD

I'm not a huge fan of rock and roll. And I've only been to see one show at CBGB in New York (and it was like 10 years ago). But it is a little sad that the famous rock venue is closing after 33 years. A nd I love that after playing on stage on Saturday, Patti Smith said CBGB was a "state of mind" that would continue for future generations, and then noted it was 33 years old, the same age as Jesus.

Heroes Tonight

I have been watching Heroes even though it's been uneven. But from what I hear, tonight's episode is supposed to be amazing. Tv critic after tv critic is saying don't miss tonight. So I'm not.

Battlestar = Wow

So we're only two episodes into this season of Battlestar Galactica, but I'm convinced more than ever this is the best show on tv. Period.

I spend the entire episode biting my fingernails and just a wrecked ball of nerves. Who would have thought that a) I would feel sympathy for a cylon (Sharon); or more importantly, b) that Lucy Lawless (ex Xena) is actually a great dramatic actor?

Friday Night Lights

Caught the rerun of the NBC pilot of Friday Night Lights on Bravo last night and I have to say I was entertained. I never caught the movie it's based on, but the show seems pretty good. Who would think a drama about football could be entertaining?

• It's funny and smart, and some of the stuff that happens is unexpected--even if the writing becomes a bit precious every once in a while.
• Lots of hot actors, including Kyle Chandler who blew up on Grey's Anatomy last year.
• I also think there is some strong acting.

I'm not going to follow the show religously, but if it keeps repeating on Bravo I'm in.

Not Feeling the Gilmore Love

Well, we're two episodes into the new season (with new showrunner and writer) of the Gilmore Girls and I can officially say I'm not feeling it. I agree with a lot of critics who say that the characters we love just seem painted into a corner all of a sudden: Lane is pregnant, Lorelai has cheated on her fiance, Luke is being a dickhead to Lorelai, Christopher has pinned all his dreams on Lorelai, and Rory is alone because her boyfriend has gone to London for a year.

So I don't like what Amy Sherman-Paladino left us with as she exited the show last year. But what I do miss is her writing. Though Lorelia and Rory are still snappy and fun, there just doesn't seem to be any heart to the writing anymore. It's like the characters are going through the motions.

But if it makes anyone feel better, Veronica Mars is still rocking it hard this year. The show is getting better and better. Yay, Vern!

All Hail The Queen

This weekend I was able to go see two great movies: The Departed and The Queen. The Queen was a solid movie, but the performance by Helen Mirren was astounding and brought the picture to a different level. I can't imagine anyone else winning Best Actress this year at the Oscars. Mirren was simply riveting. It one scene she went from sadness, to bewilderment, to awe without saying a word--and none of it felt contrived.

The Departed was probably a better movie than The Queen but I didn't enjoy it as much. It's crazy violent and the plot is a bit too convenient. But the acting in the movie is also superb. Jack Nicholson will be nominated fo an Oscar surely, but my hope is that Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio are nominated as well (or instead?). This is the first DiCaprio performance that I've liked in years. Even Mark Wahlberg managed to wow me in his role.

Nathan Fillion Joining Lost!!!

If you ever watched Buffy or Firefly, you know how smoking hot Nathan Fillion is. And he was even hot on Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place. Well, Kristin at E! is saying that Nathan is joining lost as...SPOILER...Kate's husband!

Elisabeth on The View

How long do you think ABC will keep whiny Elisabeth on The View? Watch this clip and see how inarticulate Elisabeth is trying to argue that gun control shouldn't be tightened.

I'll give you that it's hard to argue against three people at once, but she's still a whiny, squeaky-voiced moron.

Battlestar Goodness

I'm so excited about the 2-hour season premiere of Battlestar Galactica on SciFi tonight that I can barely contain myself. By the way, check on the guns on Apollo. Grrr...

Foley and DC

Here in DC, everyone seems to be talking about Foley. I just think the whole scandal is sad and am torn by how I feel.

• I'm happy for a number of things: a) this is another tip toward Democratic control of the House come November; b) an alleged criminal is now out of congress; c) that anyone who knew about this and did nothing is going to take a fall.
• But I'm equally sad that: a) gays get unfairly slammed as "pedophiles" and "child molesters;" and b) that a project as noble as the Page Program in DC can be turned on its side by one nut.

I just hope that the blame game stops and we actually try to fix what is wrong and find out why it wasn't fixed earlier.

Hope for Lost?

I'm not ready to say that Lost has finally wandered in from its cold and lonely wayward path, but I will say that this week's season premiere was fantastic. I'm still skeptical that the creators and showrunners (especially with their penchant to leave for other projects) will devote enough time to the show. But how great was it to see how the Others live on the island? And we finally got some explanations for the polar bears.

So at least Lost has started this season out on a good foot.

Robert Altman's New Project

I read today that Robert Altman's newest movie is going to be based on the 1997 documentary Hands on a Hard Body. Elke made me see the documentary in which a number of people who are competing to win a car inside a texas mall by standing with one hand always touching a Nissan truck. (You thought "hard body" was naughty didn't you?)

Well, this kind of film will have built in tension as to who wins. Bu more importantly, for Altman, the film will afford him the opportunity to do what he does best: focus on characters not plot. It's not even in production yet and I'm excited. In the meantime, go rent Hands on a Hard Body.

Don't Forget Lost Tonight!

It seems like a zillion years since the season finale of Lost. But I'm hearing great great murmurs about tonight's season premiere episode. Even a little hint that a character may come out of the closet. Hmmm...

Also, ABC premiere's its new show The Nine tonight. It has gotten good reviews, but looks like a yawner to me.

Veronica Mars and Battlestar Galactica

What do these two shows have in common you ask? Well, last night on the season premiere of Veronica Mars (which rocked it really hard), Veronica learned to use the Battlestar Galactica curse word "frack." You can pretty much get what word "frack" replaces. Anyway...it was a cute shout-out. I hope Veronica gets great ratings.

Also...this Friday is the season premiere of SciFi's Battlestar Galactica. I can't wait to see what happens. But the network is catching new viewers up with an hour-long episode repeating a zillion times this week called Battlestar Galactica: The Story So Far.

You owe it to yourself to catch up on this show (the best drama on tv) and start watching!

I'm Back

Okay...after some out of town travel, sad family business, and moving into my new condo, I'm back and ready to blog. The new TV season is in full bloom and here are some initial thoughts.

• I'm really digging Heroes, Ugly Betty, Jericho, and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
• Vanished, Kidnapped, and Smith didn't live up to the hype.
• The jury is still out on Brothers and Sisters and Six Degrees. I think both shows had/have great potential but I'm not all that impressed.
• Veronica Mars season premiere is tonight. You'd better check it out!

Eat a Cockroach at Six Flags

How about that for a blog entry title? I'm coming back from a week with family, and then a business trip, and I close on a condo this weekend. Soon I'll be back to fine blogging form and can address all the new TV shows. But in the meantime, I saw this article on CNN about a cockroach-eating Six Flags promotion. Our society is clearly fucked up.

I'm Away from the Blog, but Will Be Back

I'm away for work and for family business for a few days but will blogging about the new tv season (and so much more) soon. Come back next week!

Design Star

Well, hottie David won Design Star which wasn't too much of a surprise. But I'll be honest, the more they showed him talking and taking his shirt off, I did begin to agree with my friends: David has an ego for days. His sweety sweetness is a little sachrine.

Katie Couric and Rosie O'Donnell

Well, after watching the first round of Couric on the CBS Evening News, I have to say I wasn't all that impressed. I do have a few thoughts about it:

• She's had an eye-lift.
• She has a great camera presence.
• The show is really less news than ever. It seemed way too gimicky and like Access Hollywood. Ugh.

Now, on to Rosie on The View. In just a few short days since her debut on the show, she's shown herself to be (not surprisingly) the loudest, the goofiest, and the most pointed. I have a feeling the show will continue to evolve. My guess is that stupid Elizabeth (I'm a no-thinking fundamentalist) will leave before the end of the year. And then I'm even thinking the staltwart Joy will either leave the show later, or tone down her schtick. Right now she and Rosie are just too much alike.

Ellen to Host Oscars

Can you believe it's already time to talk about the Oscars? Well, not really. But the good news is that Ellen DeGeneres is hosting this year for the first time. I actually think her glib sense of humor is a great match for the Oscars. She's snarky, but smart and funny too.

Vincent is Gone!

Praise Jesus! I have been waiting for weeks for the talentless Vincent to be kicked off Project Runway and last night God answered my prayers! I think the producers thought Vincent made good tv, so they kept him on. But really all he did was creep everyone out and spin out of control. If you watched last night, you saw Vincent not-so-subtlely come on to the French judge. Anyway...good riddance!

Design Star to Name its Star

This upcoming Sunday HGTV's Design Star will name the designer who will host a new show on the network. You can go to the website to vote between David (mmmm) and Alice. Both are great, but David's designs will really blow you away by how good they are. Look at pics from the challenge where he decorated a room by shopping at a pet store. David is a winner--and hot to boot!

Osama and Bush

I just had a horrifying thought today as I was reading about how the Republican party is just tanking in our country: imagine what happens if somehow the President and his cronies are able to pull Osama bin Laden out of their asses before the November elections? It seems like so many more people are finally waking up to the realities of the crazy Iraq war. A majority of Americans can now see how Bush and his peeps have no foreign or domestic policy worth talking about. But if by some strange chance Bush and his minions happen to stumble upon Osama before the elections, everything could change at the drop of a hat. Ugh.

Check Out Bones

If you aren't watching Bones on Fox, then you're missing out. Only one episode into its second season, the show and its leads have really gelled. David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel have a great chemistry, and the show's writing and stories have gotten better and better. Do yourself a favor and give it a try!

Tom Cruise Reaching for Any Kind of Life Raft

That's what it seems like to me. After the devastating embarrassment of being called to the carpet by one of the Viacom/Paramount heads, Tom Cruise's stock is lower than it's been in probably 15 years. There's no new movie to promote, and his new deal with Six Flags and the Redskins owner to produce movies has been met with little enthusiasm. So to stay in the news, and help his dismal approval ratings, Cruise decides it's time to apologize to Brooke Shields.

Yep. Shields says, "And through it all, I was so impressed with how heartfelt it was. And I didn't feel at any time that I had to defend myself, nor did I feel that he was trying to convince me of anything other than the fact that he was deeply sorry. And I accepted it."

Sounds to me like Cruise is doing whatever he can to salvage a career and some respect. My guess is we won't see any wonky behavior captured on Oprah or tv of Cruise any time soon. Maybe even no press releases dealing with Scientology.

Bye, Bye Fat Momma

I was so sad last night that Fat Momma didn't win Sci Fi's Who Wants to be a Superhero. If you didn't follow the reality show, it was a great mix of crazy, earnest contestants and zany elimination challenges. Fat Momma (see pic) is a 42 year-old mother who is overweight and can turn 5 times her size by eating a donut. She's fantastic, but she lost to Feedback, a nerdy geek who has always wanted to be a superhero.

My question is, where else are you going to see a fat, black woman superhero with a huge heart? Nowhere....I'm sad.

Bye, Bye, Angela

I'm not really all that disappointed that Angela was kicked off Project Runway tonight, but I'm a bit bummed big-necked Jeffrey is still on. I was hoping it would be his night to get the boot, but instead he won.

All the twists this season have been great--from designing clothes for a dog to getting whisked off to Paris to see how travel-ready their garments are. The only thing that could spoil the season would be if Jeffrey or Vincent won, but I can't see that happening--knock on wood.

Pick a Katie Couric

Several news outlets are reporting that CBS has doctored a promotional photo of their new star Katie Couric to make her look thinner. You can see it here.

Katie hasn't even started the real job yet and there is already a scandal. I bet she's pissed.

Mute Button for Celebrity Duets

A few thoughts on last night's premiere of Celebrity Duets:

• Waaaaaay too long a premiere episode. Went by deathly slow. Not sure I'll watch a whole show again.
• The celebrities got better on their second time around, but did you notice that the real singers didn't much want to be on the show? They barely talked to camera, and it was pretty clear they hadn't really practiced with the stars. Dancing with the Stars works because there is a rapport between the celebs and the dancers. No rapport here though.
• Marie Osmond isn't funny, isn't smart, and is just kind of blah as a judge. And while Little Richard got off to a slow start, his excited stuttering and crazy gay come-ons appeared later in the show. He is fantastic to watch in a train wreck kind of way.
• I love Hal Sparks. Always have, always will. But he needs to stop screaming into the microphone.
• As for Jai Rodriguez, I was wrong. He's not a no-talent: he can sing. And actually, should he even be on the show as a non-singing celeb? His first big career break was a lead in the Broadway musical Rent! I smell a ringer!
• My brother called me three times during the show last night. Neither one of us could believe the absolutely hideous "songs" and "notes" coming out of Lea Thompson's and Carly Patterson's mouths. It was cringe-inducing.

Celebrity Duets on Tonight

I'm giddy with anticipation at the thought of watching Hal Sparks, Cheech Marin, and Lucy Lawless sing on live television. Throw in some other C and D list celebrities and a few surprise musicians, and tonight's Celebrity Duets on Fox certainly has all the earmarks of a fabulous reality show. The only drawback is having to actually listen and/or see Jai Rodriguez from Queer Eye. I pray he doesn't talk in his mock-sensitive voice or try to be funny. We all know how much of a no-talent I think he is.

Matt LeBlanc at a Stripper's House

It was pretty crazy for NBC to think that people would be so desperate for anything Friends-related that they would voluntarily watch Matt LeBlanc's show Joey last year. Sure, the character of Joey had his funny moments with the other friends, but he was certainly the weak link (chacter-wise and as an actor).

Well, last year in August, Matt LeBlanc admitted to hooking up with a stripper at a private room in a club and after a teary apology to his wife, he still ended up getting divorced a few months later. Well now the stripper is saying that the action wasn't at the club at all--Matt came back to her house! And she's suing him for defamation for what he said to the Enquirer in 2005. Ouch! I say it's fitting for a no-talent like LeBlanc. Good riddance.

Entourage Seaon Finale

It's heartbreaking to think about waiting until January to see Entourage again. It has got to be one of the funniest, snarkiest, most enjoyable shows on television. Watching Jeremy Piven jump up and down and scream is cathartic. And if you saw last night's episode, you know that somehow Ari is going to get the boys back in his corner when the new season starts in 07. They may have fired Ari, but he'll be Vince's agent again soon enough.

No DNA Match for JonBenet Suspect

John Mark Karr's DNA clears him? Well that's a shocker! The guy is certainly nuts, but did anybody really think he was the killer? No way.

Emmy Hits and Misses

I haven't had time to fully digest the Emmy winners from last night, but here are my preliminary thoughts:

• Rock on Helen Mirren for winning actress in a miniseries. She's an amazing actress, she looked noble and beautiful and she had the best joke the night, "the real accomplishment is making up these steps and not going feet over tits."
• Also...kudos to Jeremy Piven for his first win. He even got teary in his speech. The only negative was that ascot thing he was wearing instead of a tie.
• And who would've thunk it that Julia Louis-Dreyfus would win? I was excited for her.
• 24 took best drama, directing, and acting for Kiefer Sutherland. That was a surprise to everyone.
• Sooooo happy West Wing got shut out, especially Allison Janey. And in that vein, also tickeld that William Shatner didn't win or anything from Curb Your Enthusiasm.
• I was a bit sad that Mariska Hargitay won best actress over Frances Conroy from Six Feet Under. Seems like everyone in Hollywood thought Kyra Sedwick had it locked.
• Oh, and even with its crapass family season, The Amazing Race somehow beat out Project Runway. That was kind of nuts too!
• Wasn't too excited that Sandra Oh or Chandra Wilson didn't win for Grey's Anatomy. Don't get me wrong, I love the winner Blythe Danner (who has more talent in her pinky finger that her "I'm so arty" daughter Gwenyth. But I really don't like the show Huff.

Who the Emmys Missed

Every year the Emmys miss some great actors and it's just a shame. But in a parallel dimension somewhere, all these people were nominated and I was really happy:

• Lauren Graham, best actress in a comedy, Gilmore Girls. The buzz is that the Emmy rules were changed this year in part to help her get a nod because WB and UPN can't ever get nominations. But Lauren submitted a strangely whiney episode and didn't get the nomination.
• Kristen Bell, best actress in a drama, Veronica Mars. This girl has taken away a bit of the sting of Buffy being off the air. She's really quirky, funny, and downright talented.
• Edie Falco, best actress in a drama, The Sopranos. Yes, she's won before. But this was her best year ever. I was shocked she wasn't given a nod.
• Jeremy Piven, best actor in a comedy, Entourage. I have no idea why he was nominated instead for supporting actor.
• Mary McDonnell, best supporting actress in a drama, Battlestar Galactica. Folks, the show (and Mary) are just that good.
• Terry O'Quinn (Locke) and Josh Holloway (Sawyer) are both fantastic on Lost. They should get supporting actor noms.
• Marcia Cross, best actress in a comedy, Desperate Housewives. She was robbed, robbed I tell you. This year there was almost nothing good about the show, except for Bree. She had some fantastic scenes.
• Ellen Pompeo, best actress in a drama, Grey's Anatomy. The show has gotten so many kudos, but really the character of Meredith is the linchpin. Her deep sorrow, her goofiness, and issues hold the show together. I think the role is flashy, but certainly hard to play.

More Words for Lindsay Lohan

"You can't show up late...It's very, very disrespectful," William H. Macy said of Lindsay Lohan on the press junket for his new movie Everyone's Hero. He continues, "I think what an actor has to realize...when you show up an hour late, 150 people have been scrambling to cover for you. There is not an apology big enough in the world to have to make 150 people scramble. It's nothing but disrespect. And Lindsay Lohan is not the only one. A lot of actors show up late as if they're God's gift to the film. It's inexcusable, and they should have their asses kicked."

Ouch! Rock on, William H.

I Don't Think Taylor Hicks is Gay...

One of the tabloids recently had an article about Taylor Hicks' sordid gay past. I don't believe it--there's no way he's a homo. But it turns out that Hicks' former Alabama producer has been selling Taylor's old songs on iTunes and when Taylor got a judge to stop the songs, the producer got nasty. He said he had turned down big-time money offers to talk of Taylor's lurid sexual and drug-using past. Eeek.

Lost Scoop on E! Online

Kristin at E! Online just visited the set of Lost and has some juicy tidbits to share today. They include:

• Desmond, Henry Gale, and Tom Cruise's cousin (Ethan) will all play a large part in the story this season.
• The hatch is gone. No more. The set is pulled down so we won't see it anymore.
• Could Claire be Jack's half-sister?
• The Others live in a crazy location (not those tents) that we haven't seen yet.
• We'll find this season why Locke was wheelchair-bound.

Emmy Ponderings

I've been waiting to talk about the Emmys because the nominations came out months before this weekend's awards and the nominee ommissions were more glaring than usual. For a complete list of nominations you can visit GoldDerby.com. Tomorrow I'll mention people who should have been nominated. But here are my musings on this year's nominees:

• Fantastic that Jeremy Piven was nominated for Entourage. But why supporting? That makes ab-so-lute-ly no sense. Everyone knows he's the heart of the show.
• Glad to see that Grey's Anatomy did so well: a best drama series nomination and props to Sandra Oh and Chandra Wilson for supporting nods.
• Rock on, Lisa Kudrow (The Comeback), Jean Smart (24), and Steve Carrell (The Office)--all under-appreciated actors.
• Nice that no one forgot about Peter Krause and Frances Conroy in the final season of Six Feet Under. They're up for actor and actress. And cheers to remembering Arrested Development up for best comedy.
• But I can't can't can't believe The West Wing get nominated as best drama for it's lousy final season. And Allison Janney might have had a great last episode, but she almost never on the show last season. Honestly, she could crap on the toilet for a whole episode and they would still give her an Emmy.
• How did Alfre Woodard get nominated for a ridiculous ridiculous role and performance on Desperate Housewives? And Stockard Channing got nominated for best actress in her Out of Practice show which had like 3 episodes before getting canceled!

The Emmys got a lot of (deserved) crap from critics for the crazy nominations this year. The judging system was changed, but the votes still seem arbitrary with people voting for shows or performances they have never seen. Probably the biggest uproar in the nominations has been Ellen Burstyn's supporting actress nomination for HBO's miniseries Mrs. Harris. Turns out Burstyn is only in the movie for a total of 14 seconds in an unnamed role. The people who voted simply saw her name and said, "Oh, Ellen Burstyn! I know her from movies. She must be good in this."

The Best Project Runway Ever!

I'm not kidding. Last night's episode was so good that I had to spontaneously react and chat with strangers, sweaty strangers, at the gym. The designers found out that they had to design for an "everyday woman" and then their own mothers and sisters marched out on the runway as their models! Of course there was a catch: the designers had to design for someone else's mom or sis. Ack!

A few thoughts:

• Somehow Vincent won the challenge, which is nuts because his dress wasn't that pretty. It should have been Uli's glamorous, stylish piece.
• I still say (as I've said from day 1) Uli will win the whole shebang.
• I was sad to see Robert (and his mole) leave the show, but he really hasn't created anything of note lately. So his exit wasn't that much of a surprise.
• Wasn't it funny how alike the designers and their mothers were? Whether they looked alike, or acted alike, it made me laugh.
• A (sweaty) woman at the gym got pissed when fuckhead Jeffrey berated Angela's mother. The gym lady said, "If I were Angela, I would bitchslap his ass."
• I think the bitchslap-deserving Jeffrey will be the next to leave the runway. I hope so anyway!

Sticking it to Tom Cruise

Pretty hilarious that the same day Paramount drops Tom Cruise on his flat ass, the studio hires the South Park creators. Remember Tom has had it in for the guys since this year's "Trapped in the Closet" episode of South Park devoted to Scientology. It realllly sucks to be Tom Cruise today.

Stargate SG-1 Not Dead

I was a bit sad yesterday when I heard that Stargate SG-1 was being cancelled at the end of this (it's 10th) season on Sci Fi. I mean, how was I going to get a weekly fix of Ben Browder? But it turns out that MGM, the company that owns the franchise, is looking to have the series move toward television movies and possibly even another feature film. (Remember the tv show is based on the 1994 movie with Kurt Russell and James Spader). And...some of the main characters may just migrate to the newer show Stargate Atlantis.

Schadenfreude Delight

About a month ago we talked about how Tom Cruise's usual huge money deal with Paramount was about to be whittled down. Well, I guess I was wrong. Turns out, Paramount has fired Tom Cruise flat-out. Viacom head Sumner Redstone says of Cruise, "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount." Fan-fucking-tastic!

Look for a tiny trail of red in tonight's starry sky. It's Tom Cruise's ego as it falls to earth from its degrading orbit. Now Tom's ego can soar at the same true height as his star status: the front porch light of the Church of Scientology headquarters.

When the Levees Broke

If you didn't watch the two-hour first half of Spike Lee's new documentary about hurricane Katrina on HBO last night, be warned: it's hard to watch. The thing that caught me most off guard was the few shots of bodies bloated and floating in the water. It was horrific.

The documentary consists mostly of interviews with locals and officials and clip footage of New Orleans and the hurricane. And to Spike's credit, he made the decision early on to focus on New Orleans as microcosm of the disaster. What you begin to see (and remember from a year ago) is how much like American refugees the people of New Orleans become. Many had no way to leave the city pre-hurricane--there was no good evacuation plan for the poor, homeless, and elderly. When some tried to walk across the bridge into other cities, cops met them with rifles and shotguns.

Watching the smug and innefectual Bush do nothing to rally his cronies (Rice, Brown, and Chertoff) is just mind-numbing. Truly unbelievable. But props to the public officials who were interviewed. Neither Nagan nor Blanco have anything to be proud of, but both help to provide a real history of what happened. Perhaps my favorite talking head was CNN anchor Soledad O'Brien. She shows a real rage and bewilderment and how our federal government can get aid to Tsunami victims across the world in 2 days , when it takes 5 days to get aid to one of our own cities. It's astounding.

Race Riots on Survivor!

Not really...but methinks there is some drama in the newest evolution of the hit show: the buzz is that Survivor cast meembers will be grouped by race into four tribes in the new season. Of course they have grouped already by age and sex, so this isn't all that new. But I feel race is a little more touchy a subject. A few years back, Real World/Road Rules Challenge was going to do an entire season with gays versus straights. But right before they started filming, MTV balked. I wonder if this Survivor will actually be filmed with tribes in racial groups, or if it too will be an incendiary idea that falls by the wayside.

Prison Break Death?

Holy crap! Don't read if you missed Prison Break last night. In the last few minutes of the show, one of the main characters was killed off! I didn't see it coming at all, but goodbye Robin Tunney's character, Veronica. (I would shed a little tear but I never really liked her to begin with).

I Feel Pretty

If you haven't seen the new Nike commercial with Maria Sharapova, do yourself a favor and take a look. Maybe it's because I'm gay the spot involves showtunes, I don't know, but this commercial is absolutely genius.

On the Tube Tonight

Hey, a few things not to miss on TV tonight:

• The season premiere of Prison Break which promises to continue its sexy man factor, as the inmates have escaped and are running from The Law.
• It's the penultimate episode of this season's Kyle XY on ABC Family.
• I'm really not a fan of Spike Lee at all, but his first half of the documentary When the Levees Broke begins tonight on HBO.
• I'm going to skip the series premiere of Vanished on Fox tonight. It's gotten so-so buzz. But if any of you watch it and it's good, be sure to let me know.

Kal Penn to 24!

I love me some Kal Penn, so I'm happy to hear he's joining Kiefer and his cadre on 24. Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle wasn't the best movie ever, but there were some scenes that made me laugh my ass off. Go rent the movie and you can see a nice scene of Kal (Kumar) doing a little manscaping.

Give Samuel L. Jackson a Parachute!

Well...Snakes on a Plane did lousy business its opening weekend. But is that any surprise? Sure, it had a great internet campaign. Yeah, it was cool that Jackson would leave voice mail messages for people. And the title rocked. But what studio heads can't seem to understand is that if the movie blows, no matter how fucking badass the actors in it, nobody wants to see it. And the studio had to know the movie was a stinker--they didn't even let critics advance screen it.

Everyone I know said the same thing about Snakes on a Plane, "I'm thinking about going to see the movie, but it's probably going to stink, so I should get drunk first." Maybe one day the studios will learn...but my guess is not that soon.

DUI for Sixth Sense Star

Yeah, yeah, I could say, "I see drunk people." But I won't. What I will say is that Haley Joel Osment is only 18 years old and he's already started his short road to Mel Gibson-like behavior. I often wonder how stars in Hollywood get served alcohol when they're under 21, but I guess just because it's Hollywood. But the real question is, why didn't the little tike have someone driving him around--he's got the money.

Justin Timberlake has Balls of Jell-O

I actually was kind of impressed yesterday when Justin Timberlake said that American Idol winner Taylor Hicks "can't carry a tune in a bucket." Ahhhh, but then the publicists got involved. Now Timberlake's people are saying it was a misunderstanding and that his comments were taken out of context. So in one day Justin went from a man with balls of steel to a man with balls of Jell-O.