Courtney Cox's Dirt is the Worst Kind of Unclean

Dirt = vanity project.

It's Tuesday night and I'm in the middle of this new sho and all I can think is "poor Courtney Cox."

This is Courtney's first series post Friends and you have to give her credit because she did go for a new "gritty" show on the cable network F/X. Trouble is, it's horrible. It's about a Hollywood tabloid magazine. It should be hip, and funny, and smart. Like Melrose Place meets The OC with a dash of The Shield.

But instead it's like F/X is trying to remake Robert Altman's The Player for television and it just doesn't work. A show that could be fun and easy digestible is really only a self-important vehicle for Courtney Cox. She deserves better, and so do we.

Dreamgirls is More Like Dreamgirl

I caught Dreamgirls over the holidays and I wish there was some really keen observation I could make that hasn't already been said. But really there isn't.

The movie belongs to Jennifer Hudson. Heart. Soul. Voice. Emotion. All of it. She's nothing short of amazing, and I'm sure she'll be nominated for an Oscar. She may even win.

The movie overall? It's great. Full of heart, with tons of emotion. Who would have thought Eddie Murphy could give a great, dramatic performance? Beyonce is even okay. She starts off a bit too wide-eyed, but she finally nails it toward the end of them movie. Close your eyes and it's uncanny how much she begins to sound like Diana Ross.

The movie only has two real downfalls: 1) It seems to lack some energy. Maybe I'm being picky, but even during most of the showstopping numbers I wanted more. I'm not sure if the cinematography is too intimate, or maybe it is the lighting and staging. But I wanted more pizazz. And again...this is just a small flaw. 2) The only real downfall of the movie can be summed up in two words: Jamie Foxx. He's terrible. Really just awful. A truly wooden, one-note performance. He sleepwalks through the film.

But none of that really matters in the end. The movie belongs to Jennifer Hudson. Go and watch her shine. It's her music, her voice, her journey. It's even her movie (and her character Effie's)--we're just along for the ride.

P. Diddy Sells Dog Fur Jackets

Granted, Sean Combs probably had no idea that his made-in-China "high fashion" jackets were actually made of dog fur, not faux fur. But I liken this to the Kathy Lee Gifford sweat-shop story.

If you are going to put your name on something, which means you are authenticating it as a product you endorse...then you better damn well make sure that it's up to your standards. Do some background work, or better yet, pay your staff to do the background work. But apologizing later after a horrible discovery has been made just seems too little too late.

Barbara Walters is a Genius

By inviting Rosie O'Donnell to cohost on The View, Babs killed several birds with one stone: a) she got no-talent Starr Jones off the air; b) she improved ratings for The View tremendously; and c) she got people talking about The View--she created buzz for a show that was well past its prime.

The thing I like about Rosie, is that she offers a real opinion. She may put her foot in her mouth, and she may not always have a smart thing to say, but she's honest. This feud with Donald Trump is hilarious simply because Donald is trying to get ratings for his new Apprentice--a show that has also passed its prime. Remember when the last Apprentice came out? Donald attacked Martha Stewart. A month or two ago they release the news that he fired Carolyn. And now he's attacking Rosie.

If anyone is a "bully," it's the Donald. He's a dumbass bore with a bad sense of humor.

Kiefer Sutherland a Cowboy?

Who ever would have thought that hunky Kiefer (one my first crushes) is a bonafide cowboy? After that horrible 1994 Woody Harrelson (ugh) cowboy movie called The Cowboy Way, Kiefer got into roping. He actually won two national roping titles in 1998.

The Lost Room is Over...

....At least for now.

I'm hoping SciFi picks up the miniseries as a bonafide series sometime next year. From the completely unique and quirky plot to the great acting by Peter Krause and Juliana Margolis, it was a fantastic show. If you didn't catch all three 2-hour episodes this week, SciFi is replaying them in a marathon this Sunday. Don't miss out!

The Lost Room

The first 2-hour segment of SciFi's 6-hour miniseries The Lost Room premiered last night and I have to say I was floored. While it was a little slow to get going, the show is fascinating. Part of me wants to compare it to Twin Peaks because the show is so smart and ahead of its time. But whereas Twin Peaks was rife with humor, The Lost Room is awash in paranoia and loss.

It's a great show and I can't wait to see Peter Krause again tonight.

Ellen Rocks My World

When I saw a shorter version of this Ellen Degeneres commerical for Amex the other day, I nearly wet my pants. But the long version is even funnier.

Ellen is a genius.

Catch The Lost Room Tonight

SciFi is airing the first 2 hours of its new miniseries The Lost Room tonight. It starts Peter Krause of Six Feet Under (and Buffy) fame. It looks fantastic, and the network has been promoting the hell out of it.

Let's chat about it tomorrow.

Tyler and James win The Amazing Race...

And finally the boring season is over.

Was it me or were the laughs and fights and general drama too few and far between this season? I'm not sure when it begins again, but I hope it doesn't follow football or baseball or whatever. I barely watched because it never aired on schedule.

Battlestar News

Kristin at EOnline has posted a great chat with Ron Moore, the creator of SciFi's Battlestar Galactica--the best show on tv. Moore discusses everything from the other cylon models we haven't seen to the search for Earth.

But what alarmed me most is that there are only two more episodes before we take a Battlestar break until Spring 2007. Sad...

Project Runway and Tim Gunn

There seems to be an anxious buzz lately about the next season of Project Runway. When will it begin? Is it true that Tim Gunn may not be a part of the show.

Mark my words: Bravo will do whatever it takes to get Gunn back for the next season. Project Runway is the only true bonafide hit that Bravo has, and its buzz is off the charts. There is no way they are going to mess with a winning formula.

Remember how Kathy Griffin was having trouble getting a second (and third) season pickup for her My Life on the D-List? I think Bravo just likes to play hardball to see how much $ they can save. But the thing about Tim Gunn is that Bravo needs him more than he needs Bravo.

My Sleep Study

The term seems simple enough: sleep study. As I sleep, doctors will study me, right? But no, my friend. Though the term implies sleep, there was almost none of that to be had last night in Chevy Chase, Maryland as I was hooked up to 17 electrodes and one in the nose breathing tube.

Let's start at the beginning. I snore. Horribly. Forcibly. Sometimes waking myself up and making strange noises. A few friends, one of them a doctor, mentioned that I might have sleep apnea. So I began the ordeal a month ago when I visited an ENT. Dr. Schonfeld walked in and said, "Yep, you've got bad anatomy. Tiny nasal passages. I bet you snore."

So there I was last night at the sleep center where they would record me sleeping and measure my brainwaves, breathing, leg twitching. You name it, there was a wire hooked up to it. (Well, not every single thing). I'm in bed at 10:30. That's the most laughable thing because I haven't been to sleep before midnight in years. And I was hooked up to the aforementioned 17 electrodes: one on each leg, several in my hair, on my face, on my chest. A heart monitor on my finger. It was horrible. My nurse Jackie even put a breathing tube in my nose so she could measure my breathing.

Jackie leaves the room and I hear her in the dark like the voice of God, "Blink five times. Move your left ankle. Clear your throat." I fully expected Ashton Kutcher to walk in with a friend or two and say I'd been punked.

You can't imagine what it's like to sleep with wires all over your face and on your legs. I roll around when I'm trying to get to sleep and every time I turned or moved last night, I had to pull a bundle of wires and make sure the air tube hadn't come out of my nose. With all this discomfort, and the pressure of knowing I was being watched and recorded, it took at least an hour to get to sleep. Ususally it takes 10 minutes or so.

I woke up at 1:30 a.m. What I dreaded most had come true: I had to go to the bathroom.

I lean up in the dark and wave at the camera. "Jackie, I have to go to the bathroom," I say. Nothing. No voice of God. No light comes on. I fumble across the desk to try to turn the light on but instead send my cell phone flying across the room. I sit up in bed for about 10 minutes feeling like a child or an adult who can't take care of himself. Jackie finally walks in and unplugs me from the machines, but then I have to go in the bathroom carrying the box which has all 17 wires still plugged into it.

Nightmare.

So I get back in bed, and this time I bet it takes me another hour, maybe an hour and a half to get back to sleep. God, er, Jackie, wakes me up at 6:15 a.m. and rips all 17 electrodes off. The only saving grace is that I had a baseball cap to cover the globs of goo that were still in my hair.

Suffice it to say, should you ever need a sleep study, dread it. Avoid it. If you go, don't drink anything beforehand, and be sure to bring a baseball cap to wear home. I can imagine no worse fate than leaving sticky globs on the benches of the Metro as you ride home from Chevy Chase at 6 a.m.

NEWSFLASH: Congress to Work a 5-Day Week!

Can you believe this is even news--the fact that some members of Congress are mad that starting in January when the Dems take over, they will have to work a 5-day work week?

It shows how crazy our elected officials have gotten. Look at this quote by Republican Jack Kingston from Georgia: "Keeping us up here eats away at families. Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."

Hmm. Maybe what this says is that the Democrats are tired of people like Kingston flying home on Thursdays and returning to Washington on Tuesdays. Maybe the Democractic leadership wants Congress to actually have to work like the rest of us.

Back to the Rudeness Issue

Last week I made fun of President Bush (surprise) when he said to Senator-elect Jim Webb, "how's your boy?" and Webb told him that he thought we should be out of Iraq. Of course Bush answered, "That’s not what I asked you.”

Republicans on tv and in the media began talking about how rude Webb was, and I mentioned how Cheney can flick off all of Congress and yell "fuck you" and no one talks about him being rude.

Turns out, Webb's son had a "recent brush with death" a few weeks ago and Bush was warned to be sensitive about the issue. Yeah, right.

So imagine that you're Webb. Your son is in a war that has no purpose and has been handled poorly from the beginning, he nearly died a week or so ago, and your head-in-the-sand Commander in Chief shoots out a "how's your boy?" with a smile.

Rude? No. If anything Webb showed a great deal of restraint.

Heroes

The show is taking interesting turns, but I'm skeptical....

Glad glad glad that Eden bit the dust, but a little thrown off about a few things: a) how did Sylar use his powers like that? b) did Peter stay around the radiation guy a while? Is that why he's the one who blows up?

I guess Heroes is the kind of show you just enjoy, and don't really think too much about. I won't be sitting on the edge of my seat until January 22, but I will certainly be watching when it comes back on next year.

Eyecandy Not Gay in Real Life

Interesting story on TMZ today about Shawn Pyfrom. Evidently he was a presenter at a recent benefit for gay teens. But there was so much whistling and oogling and shouting as he introduced a musical performance by Lucy Lawless, that Shawn became "visibly uncomfortable."

I guess it goes to show that playing gay for pay is just that...playing gay. Even if you are a dreamboat. But kudos to him for going to the event in the first place.

Team Bama Sucks

No, I'm not talking sports--I'm referencing the The Amazing Race. I've barely been able to follow the show this season because Sunday night football means that the Race starts at a delayed time--which my TiVo doesn't like. So I was getting like the first 30-40 mins of each show and then would miss the ending. Not fun.

But, the Bama team (two single mothers from Alabama) are the first all-female team ever to make it to the final three and they couldn't be less deserving. They aren't great racers, they're petty, and they are mean as shit. The only reason they made it to the end was that the Cho brothers (who were nice but stupid) carried Bama the whole way.

So, I'm not rooting for Bama. And I'm not rooting for the pseudo-gay, drug addict, bedhead models. That means I'm left with Rob and Kimberly to root for which is a nightmare. Did you see Kimberly scream as people threw tomatoes at her in Barcelona?

To wrap up: Elke and I should have been on The Amazing Race this season. Anyone who knows us will concur that we would've won--big time. Yes, I know it's easy to say, but it's true. Elke would've done all the eating challenges in record speed. I would've done all the competitive running around challenges. And Elke's amazing sense of direction would have been our ace in the hole. Plus, we may have fought or bickered, but we would have had tons of fun and looked good doing it. Alas...

The Train Wreck that is Lindsay Lohan...

Lindsay Lohan's mother and publicist are on a mission: to let the world know that Lindsay is working on her drinking. She's even been attending AA meetings.

It's a "positive step" blah blah. And "give her time" blah blah. But the funniest thing of all was actually said by Lohan's own publicist, Leslie Sloane.

Talking of Lohan and the AA process Sloane says, "and, by the way, she's not saying ... she'll stop drinking tomorrow." Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.

First Awful Battlestar

Well, statistically speaking, it had to happen. Battlestar Galatica had a shitty episode.

I wondered from the previews how boxing (???) and Battlestar were going to mesh. What I discovered is that they didn't mesh. The whole back and forth structure (a la Lost) just didn't work for the show. That's sad too because it was a great dramatic revelation that Starbuck and Apollo are in love, but Starbuck went ahead and got married out of fear. A revelation that was wasted in a terrible episode of such a great show.